Reversing the Numbness

Tuesday, March 6, 2007

More on the Jesus Tomb Thing

I don't want to talk too much religion (or politics) on this board, but I saw the Discovery Channel special on the Jesus family tomb a couple of nights ago, and a strange idea occurred to me. (If you've been under a rock and you don't know the gist of this claim, Google Jesus Tomb before reading the rest of this post, or look at Spooge's previous post on the subject.)

One of the basic beliefs of the Christian religion is that Jesus is going to return to earth. As I was watching a scientist perform tests on what the filmmakers claim is Jesus' DNA, I got to thinking: What if somebody were to clone that DNA?



josh williams said...

immaculate conception?

spooge said...

perhaps "returning to earth" is a symbol for finding his bones.

perhaps not.

"perhaps" is a great word.

SleekPelt said...

Yeah, Josh, that pretty much sums it up.

getto said...

What if Robby was actually Jesus' return to Earth and you guys missed it?

josh williams said...

I've been working on the theory based upon the old infinite number of monkeys with an ininite number of typewriters at least one will type out the entire menu from Dennys. However what really puzzles me is where do we put an infinite number of monkeys and their typewriters,my house is crowded enough. Nevermind, I have been turned down for grant after grant, its just not going to happen.

The Dalai Mama said...

Hahahahaha! Oh my God, getto, that is hilarious!

I bet that the clone of Jesus would turn out to be the anti-Christ. You know, sort of like a Pet Semetary thing?

SleekPelt said...

Holy crap, dalai mama, you're exactly right! That's been prophesised in a bizarro, alternate Bible Code that was written by an infinite number of monkeys on an infinite number of keyboards.

spooge said...

if this is Jesus' return to earth, isn't that a sign of the apocolypse?

Jesus Christ
James Cameron

he's been planning this all along. started with the release of "Point Break" in 1991, in which he served as executive producer.

Patrick Swayze co-starring with Keanu Reeves is deeply troubling.

we should have all seen this coming.

Zee said...

I really like monkeys. When things are going very badly, I imagine monkeys (well, chimpanzes or orangatans, really) doing funny things (while dressed like humans). Ever see the 80s classic "Going Ape," starring Tany Danza and Danny Devito?

I did not know this documentary aired already. I really wanted to see it. I am pretty certain its B.S. ---not for any religous reason so much, just because whenever "The Most Important Discovery in History" is made, and its announced by press conference and a James Cameron documentary before its subjected to peer review, that sends some serious red flags.

SleekPelt said...

See, here's the thing about James Cameron that you all seem to be missing. The letters of his name rearrange to spell "Smear Jam Once," and anybody who's ever seen Pink Floyd's The Wall knows that the most maddening scene in the whole film is when a young Pink decides to have an afternoon snack of bread with jam. Does he spread it out so it covers all of the bread evenly, thus ensuring a jam-laden bite from start to finish? We all know that he doesn't. Instead, he drops the jam on the bread, gives it a single, weak smear, and proceeds to eat a bite completely devoid of any jam whatsoever.

It's clear to me that James "Smear Jam Once" Cameron realized this coincidence early in his life, he was probably teased ruthlessly for it, and he took it as a sign that he would one day film something that's even more out there than The Wall. (And did you notice how the film crew had to climb over a wall to get to the tomb? This is supposed to be a coincidence?)

Sometimes you people overlook the most obvious things.

The Dalai Mama said...

Zee, the monkey thing doesn't really surprise me.

As for the documentary, it was very interesting from an archaeological standpoint. The dramatazations were pretty cheesy, as one would expect from James Cameron. Looks like the Discovery Channel isn't airing it again anytime soon, but for just $20, you can get it here