Reversing the Numbness

Saturday, March 24, 2007

As Much Fun as Barrel of Monkeys

As I alluded to in an earlier comment, one thing that can brighten almost any dreary scenario is imagining chimpanzees or orangutans dealing with the situation instead of you. For example, I am currently going through a home crisis with a leak in a kitchen wall and ceiling whose origin is as of yet undetermined. This is pretty crappy, but I smile when I think about a chimpanzee smashing my wall up with a hammer and inspecting my pipes. When I say, "have you found the source of the leak?" he just shakes his head, and proceeds to smash a nearby lamp with the hammer. See? Now that's funny.

When a judge is yelling at me, I imagine a monkey assigned as his court crier. "Have you called for a jury panel?" The monkey (wearing an official blue court officer blazer, of course) throws the phone across the room and screeches.

There is no end to this. Get pulled over by a cop, just imagine a monkey in a little highway patrol helmet holding a radar gun.

Lets face it, primates are our closest cousins in the animal kingdom and therefore the easiest to anthropomorphrosize. However, If your imagination is too limited, I strongly suggest finding a copy of the 1981 movie Going Ape, starring Tony Danza as a generic down on his luck guy who stands to inherit a large sum of money if he successfully cares for three orangatans and their zany custodian (played by an Italian speaking Danny Devito). Hi jinks and hilarity ensure when hit-men attempt to kill the orangutans in order to keep Tony from getting the money. Of course, the simians are the real stars of the show as they foil the bumbling hit-men time and time again .


Check out this clip. You won't be sorry; just don't be surprised if the next time are in line at the DMV you find yourself laughing at the thought of chimpanzees taking license photos with the camera pointed in the wrong direction. And then actually issuing the license. And then you explaining to a cop why your driver's License photo is a close-up of a chimpanzee's nose. See, thats funny.

8 comments:

josh williams said...

Monkeys are the bomb! There is no truth greater than this.

SleekPelt said...

I'll conceded that putting monkeys in human clothing and situations is always funny, but I have to confess to a general mistrust of the animals that leads me to want them to stay far away from me in reality. I consider this a confession because part of me feels that, because they're so freaking human-like, this fright somehow contains a hint of prejudice. Is this speciesism? Am I a speciesist?

Zee said...

Mistrust of animals?? Too much Orwell, huh? See where reading gets you, kids?

SleekPelt said...

It might pain you to hear me say it, Zee, but that mistrust extends to kitty cats. (Except Droppo and Zoe, of course.)

Zee said...

And don't forget our newest feline addition, TJ. Although I don't really trust TJ completely yet. She can get kind of hissy. And bitey.

Jiveturkey said...

Now everytime I hear some crafy genius belch out "hold me closer, Tony Danza" on karaoke night, I'm going to think of a chimp flipping Sleek's house.

getto said...

Is "bitey" a real word?
The monkey thing is starting to weird me out. I might have to find a new blog to play on.

SleekPelt said...

Looks like geto boy is a speciesist, too.