Back in 2001, a close friend forwarded to me a random e-mail that wound up in his inbox. He stated only that is was "easily one of the strangest e-mails [he] has ever received..." This would become the first in a series of three pieces of "Crazy Correspondence" that found their way to me during an odd two-month stretch in 2001. This is not meant to disparage anyone suffering from a serious mental illness, mind you---but hey, funny is funny. Faithfully re-created below (including original spelling, grammar and syntax errors) is this first piece of "Crazy Correspondence." Enjoy!
If you are a time traveler or alien disguised as human or have the technology to travel physically through time I need your help!
Also if you are from any of the following planets and can help me as mentioned please reply:
I come to you for help and need a way of doing this in the following way exactly in such a way that there will be little or no danger. I come to you in peace. Trust and honesty is an absolutely must!!
My life has been severely tampered with and cursed. I have suffered tremendously and am now dying!
I need to be able to:
Travel physically back in time.
Rewind my life (including my age.)
Be able to (remember what I know now) so that I can prevent my life from being tampered with after I go back.
I am in great danger and need this immediately!
Only if you are a time traveler or nice alien and have this technology please send me a (separate) email to:
As you can see, this was not typical "spam." There were no solicitations to sell any products or promote any websites. This cat was clearly schizophrenic.
In an effort to help, I e-mailed him. While I was careful not to fully validate his insane beliefs, I alluded to the fact that I have travelled to many a far and wondrous places. I went on to imply that I had great wisdom. I told him that in all my adventures, I learned that the most powerful force in the galaxy is the human spirit and its will to overcome and succeed against great odds. I implored Robby to stop seeking answers in the past, and to focus positive energy on his present, and all would turn out well. I was sure that my inspirational words could change his life.
He replied. He insisted that his step-mother was poisoning him and begged me to share my time-travel tech with him.
So much for trying to use his own psychosis as a force to change his life for the better.
I sent Robby another e-mail, but he stopped responding. I tried again a few years later, and the e-mail was returned stating that it was an invalid address.
I hope he is doing OK.