Reversing the Numbness

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

The A Confederacy of Dunces Excerpt of the Day

I'm overdue on a new excerpt.

The scene: After Ignatius takes on a job as a hot dog vendor on the streets of New Orleans and eats all of the hot dogs, his boss is none too pleased. Ignatius claims the hot dogs were stolen by a kid with a gun.

"Perhaps he was very hungry. Perhaps some vitamin deficiency in his growing body was screaming for appeasement. The human desire for food and sex is relatively equal. If there are armed rapes, why should there not be armed hot dog thefts? I see nothing unusual in the matter."

"You are full of bullshit" [says the boss]

"I? The incident is sociologically valid. The blame rests upon our society. The youth, crazed by suggestive television programs and lascivious periodicals, had apparently been consorting with some rather conventional adolescent females who refused to participate in his imaginative sexual program. His unfulfilled physical desires therefore sought sublimation in food. I, unfortunately, was the victim of all this. We may thank God that this boy has turned to food for an outlet. Had he not, I might have been raped right there on the spot."

15 comments:

josh williams said...

Love the book...You would enjoy Managing Ignatius by Jerry Strahan...He managed Lucky Dogs for years lives in New Orleans and is endorsed by non other than Stephen Ambrose...He has written another book and leactured to military audience about the Higgans landing craft...Good book if your a fan of Confederacy...I will send you my copy media mail if you promise to send it back...You seem like a fan so I trust you would honor my propostion...Also did you read his first book (JKT) Neon Bible? Peace Trails JW

Mom! Toilets blogged! said...

Heck, I like hot dogs! Don't know if I could empty a whole cart of em, but I could sure try.

The part where Ignatius is on the floor all morning making a sign for his desk is my favorite.

I see my self in too much of the rest of the book and I aint never had no desk job, it makes me feel safe.

Mom

SleekPelt said...

Josh: I'd love to read Managing Ignatius, and I certainly promise to send it back. I'll even include a bonus book. Thanks!

Racer X
ATTN: Bryan
122 Vista Del Rio Drive
Morgantown, WV 26508

No, I've haven't read Neon Bible yet, but it's been on my list for a while. They have a copy of it at our local library. Too many books, way too little time.

Mom: I'm with you on many things, but you'll be eating hot dogs alone this evening. The whole Levy Pants thing is just hysterical, up to the insane, riotous conclusion. God help the soul that falls in line behind Ignatius J. Reilly.

Erin O'Brien said...

Hand me a Big Chief tablet, will you darling?

SleekPelt said...

Erin: Welcome! I followed a trail and your words were the prize. Thanks for stopping by.

I'd give up my heated mattress pad to have all of those Big Chiefs in my possession, and that's saying something.

josh williams said...

It will ship media mail domani...

SleekPelt said...

Josh: Good deal, but understand -- I'll have to get through my copy of Travels with Roscoe first. Assuming it ever comes.

SleekPelt said...

Josh: Did you know that the name of Arcade Fire's newest album is Neon Bible?

The Dalai Mama said...

Sleekpelt: I hope your heated mattress pad is in better condition than Ignatius's sheets!

SleekPelt said...

Mama: Rest easy -- it's my second favorite possession and I treat it with nothing but respect.

damnsle said...

I don't eat hot dogs. I make it a policy to never eat anything I can't identify without a chemistry set and a complete zoology guide.

I have never heard of these books that everyone is talking about (i'm hopelessly immersed in tawdry pop culture by the inane twits that exist in my world. without my consent. i long for intelligent, artsy (and somewhat pretentious, although endearingly so)conversations about books again) but I'm dying to read them.

josh williams said...

I remember seeing the Neon Bible title I could not remeber the band...You dont have Roscoe yet? I would guess Len is shipping media mail to cover printing and postage for three dollars. Now it is selling for four...A real cash cow!

SleekPelt said...

damnsle: Welcome! You have wonderful tastes in music, movies, and interests. Glad you're here.

Strong policy! And I too long for these types of discussions. As for Confederacy, it really is something else.

josh: Still no book, and I await it every day like it's a battery-operated propeller-beanie ordered from a box of Chocolate Covered Sugar Bombs. I promise a full post on it when I get through it.

Melissavina said...

I picked up a copy of this book a few months ago. I've read the first few pages, but I'm afraid to read more because I'll get too crazy about it and never want it to end. Isn't that crazy? This is why I never finished the last couple pages of The Time Traveler's Wife. It makes people really mad, but it works for me.

SleekPelt said...

melissavina: It's not crazy to me, because it mirrors my experience with Confederacy. So often I would shut the book, put it on my lap, and close my eyes, refusing to go on and leave the most perfect paragraph I'd ever read in the past. When I finally finished it, I felt like my brain had been worked over by a bulldozer or something.

I've never read The Time Traveler's Wife, but it sounds like I should.