Reversing the Numbness

Monday, June 4, 2007

Yes? Hell no!

A while back I made a post about my distaste for poser "rockers" KISS. I typically try to stay as positive as possible, but this evening I've decided to talk about another band from that era that I simply can't stand: Yes.

Yes, I hate Yes.

Yes, they can play their instruments. Yes, their music was complicated stuff. But did it actually sound good? To me, hell no.

In fact, the best thing I can say about Yes is that they had really cool album covers. Beyond that, I think they suck toads.

So I've decided to make a list of some songs that I would honest-to-god rather listen to than any Yes song.

  1. Air Supply's "All Out of Love"
  2. Bonnie Tyler's "Total Eclipse of the Heart," written by Air Supply
  3. Juice Newton's "Angel of the Morning"
  4. Melissa Manchester's "Don't Cry Out Loud" (this one took some soul searching, but I'm pretty sure it goes on this list) Robbie Dupree's "Hot Rod Hearts"
  5. Right Said Fred's "I'm Too Sexy"
  6. Milli Vanilli's "Girl, I'm Gonna Miss You"
  7. Ugly Kid Joe's remake of "Cat's in the Cradle"
  8. George Thorogood's "Bad to the Bone" (also took soul searching)
  9. Extreme's "Hole Hearted" Meatloaf's "Two Out of Three Ain't Bad"
  10. Billy Joel's "We Didn't Start the Fire"


josh williams said...

yours is no complaint...How about
Whams, Wake me up before you go go?

SleekPelt said...

josh: Hmmm. I'm not sure about that. And I'm starting to wonder about "Hole Hearted," too. I really hate that song. There might be a Yes song I'd listen to ahead of it.

Rob Zero said...

Don't surround yourself, with yourself.
Move on back one square.
Send an instant karma to me.
Initial it, with love and care.

SleekPelt said...

rob: Don't cry out loud. Just keep it inside. Learn how to hide your feelings.

SleekPelt said...

Note: I've had a chance to sleep on it and I've decided to remove "Hole Hearted" from the list. I've replaced it with a new song altogether.

Zee said...

What about Mutha?

Anonymous said...

roger dean rules the cosmos.

SleekPelt said...

zee: Mutha?

anon: Agreed. He's the most memorable thing about Yes.

missy said...

What about Vanilla Ice songs?

Raoul Duke said...

WOW, Sleek. Next you are going to say that Styx sucks.

you should give 90125 another listen. yeah, it is soft, but i think a nice album. As for their other stuff, i can "Leave It".

SleekPelt said...

First, after almost a full day of thinking about it, I've decided to remove the Melissa Manchester song from the list. It's a dreadful song that gives horrible advice to boot. I've replaced it accordingly.

missy: You raise a good and fair question, missy. Vanilla Ice, aka Rob Van Winkle, may have made some offensive music, but he's a big fan of the magazine I work for, so I tend to stay off of the Bash Vanilla bandwagon. That said, no, he's not on the list. I'd buy him a beer, though.

RD: My brother, I'd fight the man who says Styx sucks. Unless they were referring to Mr. Roboto-era Styx, in which case ... well, okay. The thing that strikes me most about 90210 or whatever they call that slop is that on this one, they managed to also deliver one of history's all-time worst album covers. I will credit them for trying to achieve more with their suckage, though.

g2thelow said...

You got a fucking problem with Mr. Roboto?

g2thelow said...

I gotta agree with the Yes thing, sleekpelt. Never really understood them. It's like listening to long division or something.

SleekPelt said...

g: Yep, me and everyone in Styx other than Dennis DeYoung. Great analogy for Yes, though -- long division indeed.

spooge said...

you'd rather listen to Right Said Fred, Ugly Kid Joe, and even Milli Vanilli? Than YES? The music credibility factor here just went waaaayyyy down here.

tear drop.

screw you guys, i'm going home.

SleekPelt said...

spooge: I knew I'd hear from you on this one. I considered bashing Rush as well, but I thought you really might go away forever if I did. And I really don't dislike Rush all that much.

Here's the thing: Everyone has a band they just can't stand for one reason or the other. Geto Boy hates Ozzy Osbourne with a passion (and therefore Black Sabbath) and Raoul Duke hates Elvis Costello, who we all know is the King of Pop. I was looking at one blog and the girl claimed to like ALL music except
The Beatles. These musicians, as well as Yes, were are musical innovators. Hell, Yes is made up of full-on virtuosos. It's not that I question their musical ability -- they're incredible at what they do -- I just don't like the way they sound, at all. When I hear their music, it induces mild feelings of nausea. (Rush just gives me heartburn.)

Some of the songs on my list just barely belong there, and saying I'd rather listen to them than Yes is just choosing the lesser of two evils. But some of the songs on my list I really do like, even if they are in the realm of guilty pleasures.

So here's an admission: I'd turn "Angel of the Morning" up if it came on the radio. I'd turn it up and I'd sing right the eff along.

I feel better now that I've gotten that off of my chest.

spooge said...

you go ahead and sing along with "Girl You Know It's True," and I'll roll along w/ "Roundabout." My rims will be spinning, and the bass will be pumped...along with the treble.

Zee said...

Mutha was the first Exteme song that was a mild "hit." I didn;t really expect anyone to recall that one.

I have never and will never get Yes, and other prog-rock bands (Dream Theatre, I'm lookin' at you.) I totally respect the fact they are AWESOME musicians and I have no problem with people that dig it. I have even seen the original line-up of Yes in concert (with Trevor Rabin thrown in to boot) and I enjoyed from a strictly musical-virtuoso perspective.

But here is the bottom line: If I liked music just because it was really really hard to write and even harder to play, then I'd be a HUGE classical and jazz fan. And I'm not. I like songs that are good songs. Period. Three chords? Fine with me. Difficulty level and musicality are not related.

And for the record, I'd rather listen to jazz or classical any day before prog rock.

SleekPelt said...

spooge: "Girl You Know It's True" isn't on the list. "Girl I'm Gonna Miss You" is. I considered adding Milli Vanilli's lesser-known classics "Girl You Got What I Need" and "Girl We Wanna Get Witchoo" to the list as well, but I was afraid you guys wouldn't be as familiar with them.

zee: I'm unfamiliar with Dream Theatre, but I'll have to check them out just so I know why you're looking at them. And I've only started to get into jazz recently, thanks to good ol' Winters. I've liked classical for a long time. Would Rush be considered prog rock?

getto said...

How 'bout Biz Markie's "Just a Friend?"
Girl, you got what I need
But you say he's just a friend
You say he's just a friend.

SleekPelt said...

geto boy: Are you kidding me? That song goes nowhere near this list! I'd pay $2 to hear it right now, and I'd be able to sing every word.