Reversing the Numbness

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

The Heely Debate

You've seen kids Heelying around town. One second they're walking normally, and the next they hop back on their heels, wheelie their toes up, and voila, they're Heelying down the road.

I'd always thought these were just for kids, but then my friend spooge got a pair. He's 35, and they're size 12.

At first I laughed at him. But if you know spooge, you know that if any adult can pull of Heeleys, he's the one. Turns out he pulls them off easily. I went down to visit him last week, and he wore his Heeleys out on the town. Want another beer? spooge Heeleyed right up to the bar. He was having a blast.

Later that night I tried them on, as I wear size 12 too. And you know what? They freakin' rule. No joke, I love those things. I could ride them right off the bat. But I'm also 35, and I'm just not sure I can pull them off like spooge can.

To Heely or not to Heely. That is the question.

19 comments:

tine b said...

dude, I'm seriously getting a pair. this is a good reminder to not forget and let down the urge. I've stopped more than two kids with parents on the street, to ask where they got them, because I was sure boys in their teens would have bigger feet than me, and it would be possible for me to find them in my size. thanks for reminding me, can't wait now

spooge said...

it's awesome to roll by a kid who doesn't have them. they just stare. and you know that when you're out of sight, they cry to their parents about getting them a pair. i find that this works most effectively in the grocery store. you can hear the children crying on the other side of the aisle. it's an awesome feeling to know that you are causing that much envy inside of a person that has their whole life in front of them.

but don't even bother looking for a pair. the stores are all out. so you guys can just forget about it. just put it out of your mind, and go about your life.

SleekPelt said...

tine b: Welcome! They are very easy to find online. Don't listen to spooge. Ever.

spooge: Oh, what luck! I must have found the only store in the world that has size 12s left! What luck!

spooge said...

oh man...remember how you were talking about how they should combine the Healy's and the grinders? that link shows the combo. saweeeeeett!!!

Zee said...

Wow. I also secretly coveted Heeleys when my nephew got a pair, but I assumed I would not be able to find them in my size. Hell, I'm only a 10 1/2. What was I thinking? Thankf for the inspiration.

SleekPelt said...

zee: You can absolutely pull off Heelys, pal. Perhaps even better than spooge can! I can see you chasing a bad guy down the streets of Philadelphia, and just as he seems to be gaining on you, you hop back on your wheels and run him down. Beautiful.

SleekPelt said...

spooge: So that's yet another one of my ideas that somebody else thought of first, or at least acted on first. Others include:

-the digital photo frame w/ wi-fi connection that would allow friends and family to e-mail images directly to the frame (finally saw one of these with wireless connection today, two years after I thought of it)

-the gumball machine that has a roller coaster inside it so kids can watch the gumball do all sorts of crazy things before being dispensed. I thought of this idea long before I ever saw one.

-Mugwear T-shirts. Thanks to my buddy crash, we actually made some of these bitchin' t-shirts, which simply featured the face of our buddy Jeff. They were brilliant, but then 40 Year Old Virgin came out and some guy was wearing a face shirt on there. Since then I've seen tons of face shirts.

Fleming said...

I bought my Mom one of those picture frames last year. She is totally averse to computers, but loves her digital camera. Now she can email pics and show them off in the house with ease.

and, yea, go ahead and Heely. I've been looking to get Liea and I both a pair so we can Heely together. She's getting tired of cruising the neighborhood on our old-school, 70's bikes.

SleekPelt said...

fleming: So, can you send her a photo via e-mail and it'll appear in her picture frame? Is that how your mom's works?

spooge said...

if enough of us older people get them, we will eventually make them uncool to the little kids...

be warned...their are enemies to the Heely owner:

1. The Man - places are starting to ban Heelys. Grocery stores are a perfect training ground for Heelys, b/c you can practice while holding onto the cart. But The Man thinks they're dangerous. to that I say, "whatever dude."

the next two are obvious...

2. Carpet - no doubt, carpet sucks to the roller.

3. And hills - another obvious one.

4. Jealousy - people think you're the bees knees when you roll past them. they want them. they may do anything to get them. trust no one.

5. Crack - two types. Real rollers just say no to Crack, so don't be a punk. Also, cracks on sidewalks and pavement sucks.

if i think of more, i'll let you know...later...

SleekPelt said...

spooge: I think you should head down to the skate park after work one day and see how well the kids take to an old dude on Heely's shredding their ramps. Something tells me you'd have another entry to add to your list of haters.

spooge said...

last night, I made love to my wife. you can imagine my surprise when she asked me to leave my Heely's on. :o

Rob Zero said...

I think I want a pair.

When I see those kids rolling through the supermarket, I always envision Jesus walking on water.

SleekPelt said...

spooge: See, now that's funny.

rob: They're even more fun than they look. I like spooge's idea of making them uncool for the kids. Eff the kids. I wish I would have realized just how uncool kids were when I was a kid.

RomDdly said...

I am so getting a pair of these, I have wanted them forever. Think we can get Rita to put linoleum in the office so we can wheel around work? Bryan moves around there so fast as it is, I can't imagine him on wheels!
Bryan, this is the one thing that I may be able to do better than you.
(I did say "may" because I'm probably wrong.)

SleekPelt said...

romddly: Yes, I would definitely be a hazard if I were to Heely around the office. And you're right, you could probably Heely circles around me.

Wildflower said...

(I know I'm a little late to this one but,) I'm going to play the mother card here and let you all know that my neighbor's kid broke his arm the first day on his heelys. So beware, you old guys won't heal as easily as 9 year old Walt.

SleekPelt said...

wildflower: You're not late! We're just beginning the OPOHL (Old People on Heelys League). But you won't discourage me from getting Heelys just by telling me they'll shoot my eye out!

Fleming said...

a little late but I just ran across this item we were talking about.

http://www.thinkgeek.com/electronics/cameras/94aa/