Ghost Hunters

I've never had a paranormal experience. I thought perhaps I had when I blogged about a strange flying neon orb back in January, but after careful examination, and with the help of my mother-in-law, I (she) determined that it was probably a paint-ball that missed its target (my car). Later I found out a guy I know who lives by the "incident" has had his car hit by a paintball before. Case solved.

But I'm interested in that stuff, so the DM and I used to watch Ghost Hunters on the Sci-Fi Channel religiously. Most of the time Jason, Grant and their crew would debunk claims of paranormal activity, but every now and then they'd capture evidence that was pretty compelling.

The best case of this in my opinion is the St. Augustine Lighthouse episode. During their investigation they caught what appears to be a ghost chase up a spiral staircase inside the lighthouse. They clearly hear something, and then the video they capture seems to show someone peeking over the railing, and then moments later, over the railing a couple of floors up. When they make it to the top of the stairs, all they find is door that's locked on the inside with a padlock.

Here's the video from when they reveal the footage to the keeper of the lighthouse. Because it's Youtubed it's not nearly as clear as it looked on my TV screen, but you may be able to get the gist of it:



If you didn't see it on TV, it's probably not that impressive, but it's the closest thing I've ever seen to paranormal activity. It definitely made for a good episode, anyway.

On a side note, I interviewed Jason Hawes for Racer X last year. Turns out he's into dirt bikes. He was a cool guy.

The Battle Of Good And Evil Rages On Outside My Office Window

See that? It's my office window, and on the other side of it is my motorcycle. It has a heart (and gas tank) of gold. It's good, and it loves me.

Now look in the background, off to the left, up on the hill. See that building? It's a Wal-Mart. And not just any Wal-Mart, but a Super Wal-Mart. A year ago it was just a wooded hillside, but now that building sits there, hulking, menacing, evil, like the devil's castle.

Most days, the evil wins. It seeps into my window and chokes me, flicking my ear lobes, sticking its fingers through my trachea and punching my eye balls. But not today. Today I have protection.

When the sun comes out, like Samson with his hair, my motorcycle gets stronger. It's small compared to that Goliath, but on this day, it's strong enough. The evil was cast back, reflected like Medusa's image, and I am safe and sound.

My bike Triumphed. And I love it too.

Miroslav the Vampire Slayer

After all of the hell Slobodan Milosevic rained down on Serbia throughout his years of tyranny, I can't say I blame Miroslav Milosevic (no relationship) for driving a three-foot wooden stake through his heart a year after the dictator died in prison while on trial for war crimes. Hey, he could have been a vampire, and imagine what an asshole he'd be if he were undead.

The thing I don't get, though, is how he's so sure he pierced his heart if he just drove the stake directly into the ground. Isn't there a casket? Certainly they didn't bury the dude in a burlap sack in a shallow grave. I mean, without digging up the casket, breaking it open and literally shoving the stake directly into Milosevic's chest, I think the chances of splintering his pumper with the stake are about as good as Serbia winning the Olympics.

Is this how vampire hunters operate these days? God help our souls if there's an outbreak of undead.

Attention Time Travelers and Nice Aliens

Back in 2001, a close friend forwarded to me a random e-mail that wound up in his inbox. He stated only that is was "easily one of the strangest e-mails [he] has ever received..." This would become the first in a series of three pieces of "Crazy Correspondence" that found their way to me during an odd two-month stretch in 2001. This is not meant to disparage anyone suffering from a serious mental illness, mind you---but hey, funny is funny. Faithfully re-created below (including original spelling, grammar and syntax errors) is this first piece of "Crazy Correspondence." Enjoy!

If you are a time traveler or alien disguised as human or have the technology to travel physically through time I need your help!

Also if you are from any of the following planets and can help me as mentioned please reply:
Vadikar,Nefarious,Tralfamadore,Valnator,Travers,Edenad.

I come to you for help and need a way of doing this in the following way exactly in such a way that there will be little or no danger. I come to you in peace. Trust and honesty is an absolutely must!!

My life has been severely tampered with and cursed. I have suffered tremendously and am now dying!

I need to be able to:

Travel physically back in time.

Rewind my life (including my age.)

Be able to (remember what I know now) so that I can prevent my life from being tampered with after I go back.

I am in great danger and need this immediately!

Only if you are a time traveler or nice alien and have this technology please send me a (separate) email to:

RobbyXXXX@aol.com

Thanks.

As you can see, this was not typical "spam." There were no solicitations to sell any products or promote any websites. This cat was clearly schizophrenic.

In an effort to help, I e-mailed him. While I was careful not to fully validate his insane beliefs, I alluded to the fact that I have travelled to many a far and wondrous places. I went on to imply that I had great wisdom. I told him that in all my adventures, I learned that the most powerful force in the galaxy is the human spirit and its will to overcome and succeed against great odds. I implored Robby to stop seeking answers in the past, and to focus positive energy on his present, and all would turn out well. I was sure that my inspirational words could change his life.

He replied. He insisted that his step-mother was poisoning him and begged me to share my time-travel tech with him.

So much for trying to use his own psychosis as a force to change his life for the better.

I sent Robby another e-mail, but he stopped responding. I tried again a few years later, and the e-mail was returned stating that it was an invalid address.

I hope he is doing OK.

Revealing Roy

My mother-in-law came up with the best explanation for Roy yet -- a paintball. I don't know what a paintball would look like in near dark, but if it would have any kind of glow to it at all, then it's a perfect explanation.

More Thoughts on Roy

If you've read my previous post and the comments, you'll know that I've named the mysterious "light" I saw a couple of nights ago Roy. (Roy Orb, to be exact.) I'd like to clear up a couple of things about this.

First, I'm not joking about this; it happened just like I said. I don't know for sure what shape it was, and after driving back by there yesterday, I can't even remember exactly where it happened. But it did happen.

Also, I know there have been a lot of reports about mysterious lights in the sky, and the Air Force has taken responsibility for these. What I saw was right in front of me, not in the sky, so I think we're talking about different things altogether. I guess it depends on just what kinds of weapons they're testing.

Next, after talking it over with my co-worker Billy, I stumbled upon a possible explanation. Based on the way the light moved, and its speed, it could have possibly been an arrow painted with some sort of glow-in-the-dark paint. I'm not sure how glow-in-the-dark paint works, but if it's like other glow-in-the-dark stuff, I assume it would need some sort of light to "ignite" it. So, maybe, somebody was in the woods with a flashlight and a painted arrow and they decided they were going to try to mess with the next sucker to drive by.

If that unlikely but at least possible scenario happened, then the bastards were successful, because I can't seem to stop thinking about this.

Other possible explanations are quite welcome.

UFO

I was driving home from Lowe's at about 5:45 this evening, moving toward my house on South Pierpont Road, when the strangest thing happened. After 34 years, I've had my first experience that I just can't explain. (Not including the time I dated that girl Kim. I'm not sure what that was about, either.)

An oddly bright pink or orange ball of light flew past my car, in front of me, like a bird would, about a foot or two off of the ground. I couldn't tell how big it was -- maybe softball or soccer-ball sized. It was moving very fast, much faster than a bird.

My first thought was: Was that one of those red laser-light pointers? But it wasn't. I mean, it absolutely was not on the ground. It was in the air. And it was bigger, and the color was way different. I think the color may have been the strangest thing about it. It gave me chills.

A couple of hours later, at home, the remote control for my iPod speaker dock fell off the TV and landed in the dogs' water bowl. And when I looked in the room, nobody was there! I'm wondering if the incidents were related.